Grizzly Bear with Green Golden Eyes - Part I

September, 2019

With my eyes barely open,
i looked up at the clock made of black wood, standing on the wall
its shape seemed like a bear, a Grizzly Bear...


"It's five and a half, so early"
I turned around in bed, searching for my partner,
raised my left arm to the other side of our bed and touched something fluffy, just like fur.
Right when i heard a wild roar and met the dark eyes of a bear,
i screamed and at the same time he jumped over me and roared once again.

"Ahhhhhh,
Oh God,
It was just a dream"
I looked at the empty space in bed where he is supposed to be.
"This part of the dream is real" i murmured for myself.
I averted my gaze to the window, and saw a couple of shapes moving on the woods.
"What's going on here?"

Grabbing a robe, I went outside to figure out this nonsense.
I started walking towards the deep and dark forest, watching where i stepped in order not to fall down.
And near to a tree with scratches all over its skin, i saw another bear however this one seemed being in pain.
I came closer to it and searched for the reason why it was suffering.
And when i met its eyes, his green golden eyes, i figure it all out...

He lifted his paw reaching for mine and then lead them towards his heart.
As a reply i said "I love you, too", fighting against the tears that wanted to roll out of my eyes.
And no matter how odd this will sound, we both embrace each other in a deep caring hug.
Then a light started sprout out of his heart,
i fell backwards, closed my eyes and put my arms in front my face to avoid blindness.

When i could look at him again, instead of a bear there was a tiny bunny with the same green golden eyes.
"No more surprises for today, okay bunny man? " he reply frantically stirring his nose.

Sometimes you need to let things go...

Imagine that our existence was reduce to a simple ballon.

When we're born there's just a body (an empty ballon),
However we start watching the world around us and repeat what we learn from it (ballon begins to fill up),
As long as we keep on living, troubles will apear and we must face them.

In a humoristic point of view, pretend that troubles are like a little child,
A little child holding you (the ballon) down...
What about now? Should I give up? Is there anyone to help me?

You have two choices:
* Live the rest of your life tied in your own problems and sooner or later you will burst
Or...
* Solve them honestly and then you will lift away towards the sky, the unknown...

Which one scares you the most?

Our mundane life on the surface?
Or the unknown dangerous of heaven?

Small Rowing Boat

Laying on a white chaise longue, holding hands and working on my tan.
"I'm going to swimm a bit... Wanna come?"
"Swimm? I'm in."
I got up, caught my hair in a pony tail and pulled him up (he's too lazy to get up by himself).
He took the advantage and held me close to him, I lie my head on his chest, hearing to his heartbeat and we stood there (it felt it last forever).
After a couple of minutes hugging each other, we went for a swimm.
I won one race, and he won the other ones, in order to catch my breath I lie down on a float and stared back into his eyes.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"You know how ships made me sick."
"We shouldn't have gone on a cruise..."
"Pssst, I could even be in a small rowing boat as long as you were in it."

Path on the Train Trails

I remember that day perfectly, like it was yesterday...

I packed my backpack, picked my bicycle and rode towards the subway.
When I got there, I locked my bibycle, searched my pocket, took the note out and read it again "I fell in love with you. I don't know how, I don't know why. I just did."

I climbed down the stairs and looked around...
He was right there, just a few metters away.
And by instinct we started walking towards each other, as if it was the first time.
Unfortonately, a crowd came rushing to the subway and blocked our way, like a river between two pieces of foreign land.
We raised our arms and tried to reach each other's hand... but he only could grab my bracelet. He grabbed it so hard that when people started pulling us away it broke and dropped to the ground.

I guess that bracelet is still there, somewhere...
Where the train trails and people met,
Where the crowd and the light become one!

7 Things about my BFF!...

Seven Things about my BFF:

1. Chocolate Addict;
2. Twilight Fan;
3. Lovely Person;
4. Glasses;
5. Jacob's Lover;
6. Stalker Girl!!!
7. Claire's aholic.

I love you :3

You started to build a distance between us,
I thought that that meant you didn't need me anymore...
-I reminded when u said that you end up causing pain :'( to everyone around you-
... but surprisly i was wrong.

As if you woke up from some dream,
you started to really be alive and talked to me again...

Though always sleepy,
You told me how amazing was i, to be in your bed while you wake up in the morning,
and for the first time in almost a month you said "I love you :3"!!!

Happy Birthday

It was just one more day that i had to live, up untill i met my friends ^^

As usual i wait up at the entrance of my school for my friend, and when i saw her, i started walking towards her and gave her a big hug and she wished me Happy Birthday xD and i said thx...
We went to my locker to put some bags that i didn't need and she holded up a gift to me and i grabbed it "Hmmmm, it's a book" and started unwraping it when i found out that was actually "Dragon Oath" i was like "OMG, thx thx thx a thousand times thank you ^^".

We went to classes and I met my BFF laying on the door. She grinned at me, gave me a cuddle and we both sat on out seats next to each other. She turned back and picked out of the bag a small gift and handed it to me. Nine pars of earrings from Claire's, just perfect ^^. I switch earrings and ppl started to wish me Happy Birthday, even the teacher (I was so embarrased).
When everybody was at their seats the teacher said "Before starting the class, let's sing Happy Birthday to Dolphy!!!". All that i was able to do was clap with the class xD

At the end of the class, my BFF said "I have another gift on the bag, want to see?", i was like "Sure, i do ^^". This one was the size of a small box and it was kind of heavy, it actually atracted my attention. What could it be??? Guess what, four diaries from Light and Darkness Books, of Stephanie Meyer ^^ (Who can imagine better than this?)

The next class was Math, i was unpacking my books when someone walks through the door with two candles with the numbers one and six and a chocolate cake (I have to admit it, i was not expecting that from coming, it even scared me to be honest).
The teacher was like "What the heck???", but it all settled down.

I saved a piece of the cake to my mom and when she saw it and found out what happen she even cried :*)!!!
She told me "Dolphy, these are friends to keep close to the heart" i just nodded.

For the ones who are reading this,
I'm a lucky girl and are at these moments that we find out the ppl who truly cares about you.
Thx guys for everything, You are the reason why i want to keep on living ^^

Is it wrong?

Our love is considered illegal by authorities.
That was one of the first things that i thought about when I first met you.

Although physically you are older than me, I think that mentally we are not that far away (one of our big surprises when we started talking).

In the last few days you started behaving in a weird way, hiding yourself from me, just like a little boy that made a mistake and didn't want to face the punishment.

But, after all, we are two sides of the same coin, we did the same mistakes...
(I knew that what I was doing crossed the line, but why it felt so good?
However, on the other side I, also, knew that i wasn't being my self...)

"Even if I had a million reasons to leave you, I would still look for one to stay"

Fall in love with someone when you feel ready, not lonely

People say that love is blind...
And when u find the right person u just feel it!

But how can i be sure of what i feel when my hormones are playing with my heart?

One thing I'm sure of...

My love for you is not true love, we are just using each other in order to not feel lonely.

"Truth is...
Girls lie as much as boys,
Boys get hurt as much as girls.
At some point we all experience the same thing;
Heartbreak,
Sadness,
Loneliness,
Happiness,
Love,
...
We just react differently to it..."

It Goes On

Classes all day...
... listening to the kind of stuff that we all suppose to use in our everyday life...
... repeating over and over again the same damn statements!!!

I admit in the begining I actually paid attention to what grown up people advised me to, but now...
I'm starting to question my life on Earth!

I might seem ungrateful and pessimst

What's my purpose?
Will I cause a change in this world?
Or just be one more person in the crowd...

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” 
― Robert Frost

Crazy Dream or Reality?

I woke up in the morning,
7:00 a.m. (the same damn daily routine).

I turned around on bed and there was you :O !!!
Staring at me, stroking my hair, smiling and you whispered in my ear "Good Morning My Angel..."

And i haven't had time to reply, because he already was kissing me so gently as in my dreams,
in my wildest ones...
I hugged him tight and closed my eyes,
I didn't want that to end...

"Is this real?
Or is it just another crazy dream?"
(my mind asked me)

Happy Ending or Story?

Finally we can hug each other and be like this forever,
Because there's nowhere else to go,
It's the End of the World!...

I remember when i first smelled his scent,
When i first tasted his lips,
When i first looked into his bright eyes,
When i first felt his skin touching mine and...
... when i first heard his voice!

That first days, when we were enjoying the feeling of love,
No Worries;
No Drama;
No Pain...

"Maybe it's not about the Happy Ending, maybe it's about the story"

How WE met

Remember when, we first met at that cliff...
I went there to see if i could fly away,
And u were there, as if u were expecting something like that to happen long time ago!

I jumped,
U grabbed me,
And we both fall...

***

I woke up lying on virgin sand of a beach,
and u were there beside me,
holding hands...

My Life...

People all around me,
*keeps telling me that i better focus on shool, if i want to be something important when i grow up;
*keeps telling me that i'm too young to fall in love;
*keeps telling me to do the right choices...

In the other hand,
*i keep seeing couples in my school, expressing their love for each other (And i'm 4ever alone);
*i keep paying attention to classes, do my hw, study and be a good girl (However marks are not that good);
*i keep trying to made the right decisions, but choose between what i want or what i should do (it's not always a easy choice)...

In other words:
"All in all, We humans are all as a ton of small puzzles...; Every single puzzlebrick has that perfect match, that they just fit with!!! But it takes time with all those other options." Ace Rosewall

Spread your wings and FLY

"You look at me, I look at you and...
We both smile without a reason."

Am i going to see ur eyes for real?
Or just imagine them in my dreams...

And the light of ur smile?
Is it going to light up our nights together, once again;
Or just be one more hope erased by this cruel world...

"I know there's something in the wake up of ur smile;
I get a notion from the look in ur eyes...
Because the night belongs to lovers!...

P.S.: Take those broken wings and learn how to fly...

7 Things about Shuuuu!...

Seven Things about You:

1. Green Eyes;
2. Love Bunnies;
3. Sleepy;
4. Sci-fi reader;
5. Game Player;
6. Deep voice;
7. My fav company!!!

Together but apart...

Tonight there's no moon;
But i know, we are under the same sky...
...the same dark sky,
as dark as my eyes.

I miss the moon as i miss you,
Where are you moon?
Did you leave me without a warning?

Where's the moonlight that guide me towards you?
Is it all gone now?

All you left behind are purely the stars...
... tiny spots that remind me of our nights together,
underneath the same sky, but separated by a distance of miles away.

Now and Forever,
I will be waiting for you on this boat,
in the middle of this lake,
with the Ancestors Lights watching me,
guiding me,
saving me,
and making me feel alive again...

A Place in This World!...

Since i turned eighteen,
all around me; all that i feel; all that i see is darkness...

I'm slowly falling deep,
deep from the sky,
trying to grab to something real.

I was so afraid to become something that i hate,
that i didn't realize that i leave a pack of sorrow behind me...

In my dreams i was a Nephilim, and i felt in love with a Fallen;
I was cursed to endure a whole life being half angel and half human.

And where's my place in this world???
I'm not human, I'm not an angel...
My place is neither on Earth, nor in Heaven!!!

The Powers still chasing me,
even in my dreams...
I wake up fearing to be caught.

But with that old oil lamp necklace, that emits a purple light, i have always a place to return...

Agradecimentos

A existência deste Blog deve-se ao facto de eu ter uma amiga sensacional e é a ela que dedico todos os textos que irei publicar...
T&T 4ever @

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